Food for thought

There are many times in life we take things for granted.  One of them is the simple task of feeding your face.  We eat breakfast, lunch, dinner and many times throughout the day we snack on things which taste good to us.  Once we learn this at an early age, we just go through the process.

Many people are not capable of performing this task, due to one reason or another.  For Zoe, it is a complicated process to eat through the mouth.  When she left from the hospital at 8 months old, Zoe ate like a typical child does, from a bottle.  At that time, we thought everything was going to be smooth sailing.

1 year after leaving the hospital, we ran into a situation that required some immediate attention.  Zoe quit taking the bottle by clamping down and not eating at all.  At that time, she weighed 16 pounds.  We had the hardest time feeding her, and she began to lose weight.   After many doctor's visits and tests, we found out she had very bad reflux, which made eating painful for her.  We were put into a situation that needed a solution in a hurry.

We met with a wonderful surgeon, who had performed an operation on her when she was only 2 days old.  He recommended having a feeding tube installed, and explained the whole procedure.  It was hard to agree to, but we figured that was our only option as normal bottle feeds were not working. 

Zoe has been using the feeding tube now for about 6 years.  It's a very simple process, but one that seems anything but enjoyable for her.  She does not taste the food or feel the texture.  We have been going to a feeding clinic for some time now, and just recently has she really started to take to typical food. 

Her favorite thing in the world to eat is a banana.  When my wife grabs one from the bunch, Zoe hears the sound of it separating from the others and immediately says, or yells "bnnnnaaaannnnnaaaa", and jumps up in the couch.  She knows she will be getting some and prepares herself for her bites.  When I am in the room, after she takes a bite, she looks at me with the biggest grin and says "nnuuummmy". 

I often look back at that little 16 pound baby and remember the pain we went through as we tried to feed her.  Like many things in my life, it was a moment I will never forget and often wonder what we did wrong.  I know there is nothing we could have done different, but it will always be with me.  As parents, we can only do our best and provide as much love as possible.  Decisions will come that are hard, and at those times we have to do what our hearts tell us.