As a father, most of us dream of the days when we will be teaching our children how to play sports. We will show them how to throw or kick a ball, catch a pass, swing a bat, club or racket and how to play by the rules. Our kids will hopefully be taught all the ways to win or lose with grace, and the main teachings of sportsmanship. Yes, being a father has many perks, one of them being able to pass on our knowledge of sports.
But what happens to our dreams as a father when our child is born with a disability? How do we teach a child how to throw a ball when they have no way of even grabbing one. How do we teach them to kick a ball through a goal when they have a hard time just walking on their own? How do we teach them to swing a baseball bat when they can’t grip around the handle? If they have a hard time walking, how do we teach them to run down the field? If you are like me, some of your dreams were crushed when you found out your child had a disability. There would be no chance to pass on the knowledge we have from our youth. At least that is what I thought until 2 years ago.
Yesterday I was able to watch as Zoe put a soccer ball into the goal for the first time in her life. I sat on the sidelines, like I had always dreamed of, cheering her on, with camera in hand. How was this possible? How could a child who has no knowledge of soccer, become a player in less than 1 day. Actually it’s quite easy after you understand what takes place during the game.
2 years ago I was asked by my wife, what I thought about Zoe playing baseball. I thought she was trying to hurt my feelings, as I knew that was impossible. I asked how could our daughter play baseball when she couldn’t run, throw, catch or hit a ball. There was no way she would be able to play. Even after I was told about typically developing children helping them do all those things along side our child, I still said there was no way. But I didn’t even think about the possibilities until that night. While I was in bed trying to go to sleep, I had visions of another child helping Zoe do all those things while they were on the field. I saw a boy helping her swing, like I would if I would be teaching her to hit the ball for the first time. I saw a boy holding her hand and going through the throwing motion as she tossed the ball to another player. Yes, I realized there was a way for a child with a disability to actually play a sport.
The next day I was excited about my thoughts the night before and shared with my wife that I wanted Zoe to play baseball. Turns out they needed a coach that year for Zoe’s team and asked if I would help them out. Here I went from a father who’s dreams were crushed to a father who realized how shallow minded he was. I am no longer narrow minded when it comes to sports, or any activity.
Yesterday, Zoe had the biggest smile on her face as 2 young girls held her hand and directed her down the soccer field. They walked with her, helping her kick the ball and my wife and I sat on the sidelines, our hearts full of joy.
Amen Gregg!!
ReplyDeleteI can picture Zoe's smile, and feel the feeling you must have, I too have had crushed dreams of my son. But now I see how selfish I was to feel that way. Whats amazing is that when we find out that our kids are disabled, we tend to think that there's not much future for them, and then they surpass the expections and physical bounderies we tend to put up to protect them. Every day my son astounds me with something new he can do or say, It really puts it all in prospective. They may be disabled physically and mentaly, but there passion and endurance and will is unmatched by any typically developed person I know.
Thank you for sharing this story Gregg, it is truely inspiring.
Darin Rubino
There was a statement that Darci shared with me about a month ago.
ReplyDelete"Our children have a disability, the disability does not have our children."
I find that so true, and once we look past the disability, our eyes are opened wide.
Darin, you keep doing what you are doing - you are one hell of a dad and a great friend!