What a week already. I'm ready for the weekend to start. As long as tomorrow does not bring any heart stopping moments, all will be well.
It's pretty hard to work full time and not worry about your family, especially an 8 year old daughter who is unaware of what might be going on around her. What do you do, how do you react to phone calls when something goes wrong? You take it in and realize there is nothing you can really do - other than trust your spouse is taking care of what needs to be done.
I got a call on Monday morning, and there was a sad little girl in the background. She was scared. My wife informed me Zoe just choked on one of her little toys, but she was fine. My first comment was "throw all the little toys away - we don't want that to happen again." My wife and I are in sync, because she had already started doing that. As a parent, you want to be there for those moments. You want to make sure everything is ok, and the thought of being helpless is scary. There is nothing you can do when you are away - and that sucks. The scary little girl became happy not too long after, when her fear of the unknown left and she got back to her normal routine (minus any small toys).
We had a small amount of snow fall yesterday, but with the temperature being just right, the snow turned to ice on the roads right away. Sometime around noon my wife asked if she could drop off some lunch, which was very sweet. She was on her way to take Zoe to a therapy and was going right past my work place. I declined, talked for a few minutes and got back to work. About 1 hour later I got another phone call, and it was one that I didn't like. My wife informed me she and Zoe were all right, but the car needed a new bumper. I thought she was joking with me, which we do sometimes, but she told me this was not a joke. On her way home from therapy, she spun around on the road and slid into the guard rail. Immediately I asked if she and Zoe were ok, what happened, etc., and just felt like garbage that I could not do anything to protect them from what happened. They are both fine, nothing happened except to the car (and no one else was involved). The car is something we can get fixed, but if something happened to them it would be horrible.
That night after the accident, while we were watching tv, Zoe stood up and started spinning in a circle and said "Wee, Wee, Wee". My wife and I both laughed for a while and then I asked Zoe "what happened in the car with mommy today?". She went back to the middle of the room and started spinning in a circle again and said "Wee, Wee, Wee". It was too cute. I'm glad we can have laughter at something that happened like the accident. My daughter cracks me up a lot, and for that I am grateful.
I have never been a person who worries about things, other than my family being safe. I don't worry about the future really, for some reason I know everything will be ok. I don't worry about money (which we don't have), because I remember growing up and being on food stamps and everything was ok. I don't worry about things much, because I can't change what's going to happen. I can prepare for things, but whatever is going to happen will happen. If I worry about things, my life would be different in a way that I probably would not like. I was talking to the Fathers Network Director about another dad from the past and he gave me a quote that he told that dad a long time ago. The quote pretty much fit what my life has been like the past 8 years since Zoe was born. Basically, he told the other dad "don't worry about tomorrow, live today". I like that quote, because we can't change tomorrow until it happens. If we worry about it, what would that do to how you live today?
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